A difficult month with moments of joy: facing changes and the weather

It's been a month since I last blogged and there have been many things going on both ordinary and extraordinary and internally too.

A couple of days after my first day in Belgium (Antwerp) I spent another meeting Caitlin (Aussie friend from Freiburg) and her friend Markus in Brussels. They had already been there a day or so and I anticipated going back sometime so we spent little time in centre (just to view the Grand'Place and have a quick cuppa coffee) and most of the day in the suburbs visiting Atomium (a giant model atom millions or billions of times the size of a real one = 50m/160ft high), its surrounding parkland and then a basilica. However the weather was nasty and we were happy to sit down for a kebab. There was a (second) rail-strike starting up at 8pm in France that evening so we were to take the train back to Lille at 5:30pm. The train was an hour and a half late and I was worried I was going to be stranded in Lille on arrival. I only caught the train back to Wavrin because it was also late then drove back into Lille, for independence from the trains, and ate with Caitlin, Markus and Michelle.
The next couple of days involved becoming accustomed to French driving with many trips back and forth to see Caitlin. Although I'd driven in the States, driving in France is more difficult for 4 reasons:
1. French drivers are crazy
2. French streets are tiny - especially compared with Texas super-highways (everything's bigger in Texas!)
3. I'm driving a manual here - only drove autos in the States and the gear-stick's on the wrong side!
4. All signs here are (of course) in French!
It was nice to see some more of Caitlin and to hang out in Europe again.
The strike lasted about a week and a half until the (government employed) rail workers gave up their unpopular demands.

After our trips to Paris and Antwerp Michelle and I realised that we need to be saving money for Christmas so we called a halt to trips of any significant distance (read: cost) and have been spending more time in and around Lille. We've been to the Christmas market in Lille a few times. Went to Bethune for a day trip - 3/4 of an hour from Wavrin - and visited the Christmas Market there. However for the past month the weather has been depressing. We've had three consistent weather patterns: overcast, drizzle and pouring. At times it's made it difficult to enjoy being here - especially since Michelle and I often meet in Lille where we have no place to escape the weather without buying something. Walking around all day in the cold and rain is not all that much fun...

On a more positive note a couple of weeks ago we found a church in Lille, St. Maurice's, with a wonderful Sunday evening mass. We'd been going in Armentieres (Michelle's French hometown) but found that we understood more or less nothing and apart from the communion were getting very little from the mass at all. At St Maurice's though it was a really intimate service in which the congregation formed a circle around the priests for the readings and the sermon and all walked together to the high alter for the communion. We understood a lot of what was being said, felt involved and both got a lot out of it. In fact it cheered us up greatly after a day of low spirits in less-than-joyous weather au Lillois.

Since November 5 Michelle and I have both been thinking heaps about our wedding and plans thereafter. It's been very exciting and at times disheartening throwing out ideas, researching their feasibility, discovering the intense bureaucratic and costly anachronism that is immigration policy and watching the "to-do" list seemingly expand exponentially on a daily basis. We've definitely made some progress and I think we're now pretty clear on what we want to do where but there's still a long way to go.
Thoughts, indecision, concerns about money and logistics have been causes of stress and even some sleepless nights. Throw some ghastly weather into the equation and it makes for not the lightest happy-go-lucky month of our lives. We are very much looking forward to a German Christmas/New Years holiday in a couple of weeks time.

That said we are definitely not depressed about being here or about wedding plans. Any negative wedding mood is far outweighed by the excitement of making a holy lifelong commitment together and celebrating that with family and friends. Above anything we are able or not able to achieve in this wedding these are the things that matter to us.

Thoughts with Timshel

Talking on the phone with my brother we summed up some European mentalities using fast trains as our metaphor:

In France the TGV runs at 250km/h on 250km/h track.
In Italy the fast trains run at 200km/h on 150km/h track.
In Germany the fast trains run at 150km/h on 250km/hr track.

Antwerpen

The Belgian border lies about 20kms from Lille. There are regular direct trains from Lille to a number of Belgian cities including the diamond capital of the world. Since Michelle and I are freshly engaged and we wanted to pick out a ring together we made a day trip, crossing Belgium in an hour-and-a-half train ride to visit Antwerp.
We found the perfect ring after half an hour (much sooner than expected) and wandered through the quaint streets and squares of Antwerp while waiting for it to be sized. Antwerp is the second largest city in Belgium but very navigable and with everything to offer - from French to Dutch, from expensive to cheap, from classy to dodgy - and of course the Belgium's trademark facades and gables.
We had a wonderful day, but numerous trips back and forth from the diamond area to the town centre for resizing (it still wasn't right after the first sizing) left us with there impression there is much more to see and do in Antwerp.
Not to worry. Looks like we're headed back in April in search of bands...

Engaged in Paris

So here's how it went:

The French celebrate Toussaint (All Saint's) holiday with a week off school. This meant for the first half of the week I was looking after Noah and Lily-rose while Michelle went to Lyon to visit John (friend from Freiburg). On Friday I took the TGV (train) to Paris (250km=1 hour!) and met John and Michelle who arrived from Lyon an hour later.

We stayed in a cheap (and loud) hotel but were out most of the time. We had a wonderful weekend walking through Paris, seeing the sight, Montmartre, the Seine, Louvre, Champs Elysee, Arc de Triumph, Tour Eiffel, Quartier Latin and even made it to a flea market. Sunday we went to mass together in a church we'd found on our wanderings and Monday (Nov. 6) saw us enjoying a lovely lunch with the Cox family (Amanda Cox went to school with the Brauds) which came in a package with a bomb scare! A suitcase was left at the door of the restaurant and the Parisien bomb squad spent about an hour and a half taping off the area (while we lunched inside), redirecting traffic and pedestrians (while we lunched inside) and attaching a controlled-explosion explosive (while we lunched inside). They finally requested that we move back away from the windows and blew open the empty case.... great security guys - if it were a real explosive it probably would have been detonated at least an hour before!

After a long lunch we meandered some more before John had to head back to Lyon. We were very sad to see him go since we'd had such a wonderful time catching up, exploring and talking over the weekend.

After John left I took Michelle to Montmartre where we looked out over the city of lights and tried to find a restaurant with a free table. After what seemed like an age we finally found the perfect place. It was even full of Francophones and not the touristy-types one expects - Not an annoying Aussie or American in sight =)
We had a delicious French dinner over a few hours and then wandered back to the Sacre Coeur Basilica (Sacred Heart) where I proposed to Michelle around midnight. She said yes.

Outside of the Cappelaere family

I've been going to my French language classes twice a week, except when French railway workers decide to remove the opportunity through crippling nationwide strikes, and meeting Michelle at least two days a week as well. We continue to explore Lille together and have found some fabolous places for ethnic food and some classic (stereotypical but authentic) french cafés. She's been out to Wavrin a few times as I have out to Armentiéres, but I still don't have insurance to drive the car, so I'm eagerly waiting for that to come through so I can do things in the evenings after looking after the kids in the afternoons.
Last weekend I went with Michelle to dinner at Valerie's house, an English teacher at Michelle's school and Michelle's go-to person. We had a wonderful time and stayed overnight even checking out some local art on the Saturday.
My day-times have been pretty empty when Isabelle, Benoit and Michelle are working and the kids are at school so I decided to fill some of them with language exchanges. I've had loads of interest and met with one lady on Thursday to commence my first one. (For those who don't know it's a free mutual conversational language lesson where you speak one language (ie. English) for half the time and the other (ie. French) for the other. I go into Lille normally on Mondays and Thursdays anyhow, so it makes it pretty convenient to meet people there on those afternoons.
Starting this weekend is the Toussaints (all saints) holiday which lasts a week and a half. Michelle and I don't have classes but neither do the kids so I'm full time this week while Michelle visits John (English friend from Freiburg) in Lyon, where he's teaching. My reward though is meeting the two of them for a four day weekend in Paris while Isabelle and Benoit and the kids go away for a couple of days. Paris is only an hour away on the TGV (the world's fastest passenger trains) and I got a really good deal with my under 26 card which Michelle and I bought at the start.

La Chasse

Today I went hunting for the second time since I've been here. I went with Benoit towards Dunkirk where we met Isabelle's family and family-friends to go walking through paddocks and shoot hares, pheasants, pigeons and some other birds. It's just like you've seen on documentaries or movies set in France or England. Today there was only one score - a big male pheasant - beautiful bird. Last time we were luckier with 2 hares and 2 pheasants.
There are a complicated set of laws associated with it (including seasons etc). Basically people can buy the right to hunt on a farmer's property and that's what Isabelle's parents have done.
It's one of a few cultural experiences I've had since being here that you can only have staying with a family. Last night I ate the regional speciality - mussels and chips. Delicious. I've also had fresh oysters from Brittany (first time), and rabbit at Benoit's parent's place (for the first time in years). It seems to be that if ever you're visiting others or others are visiting you for a meal you need to anticipate 2 more courses that you actually expect (no matter how many you expect) and to be totally stuffed at the end. There is always (at least) mains, cheese and dessert (in that order).
I'm now feeling very comfortable and settled with Isabelle and Benoit. I know almost all their family (Isabelle has two siblings and Benoit is an only child) and am enjoying being here more and more as time goes on. This also seems to relate to how much French I'm speaking and understanding...

Michelle

It's been wonderful to see Michelle and I've gotten to see quite a bit of her. On Tuesday last week she managed to come and meet me in Lille even though she was supposed to work. Because of a delay in text messages I thought she wasn't coming so I was about to buy my ticket back to Wavrin when she tapped my on the shoulder. Was a very pleasant surprise.
I saw her on Thursday on her lunch break from information sessions in Lille and Friday we spent the whole day together after some delays because of issues with train timetables and I got to see a tiny bit of Armentière (where she's living) too.
It's really nice to see her.

Wavrin, Lille and Language

The house is a huge old place and I live on the third storey. I have my own huge room painted with hot pink highlights and my own bathroom. The backyard is a big one with a nice lawn, a huge tree and a trampoline and the house fronts on to the main street of Wavrin. Not that it's exactly the largest town in the world, but the street is always busy. The school, church, station and pretty much everything else are no more than a 5 minute walk.
I went to Lille my second day here to organise my language course and was placed in the introductory course on Monday and Thursday mornings. Afterwards I went to try and organise my residency permit and then walked down the mall into the city centre. It's a really pretty city and I'm surprised it's not big on the map of tourist destinations, but then Isabelle and Benoit tell me that it was an ugly grey industrial city that's only been cleaned up in the last 5 or so years. Friday to Sunday the weather was amazing and Michelle and I explored Lille more together on Saturday.

Isabelle, Benoit, Noah et Lilyrose

Isabelle and Benoit are great. He was in Brittany when I arrived so I didn't meet him for a couple of days, but I'm very glad I'm with them. They're both 30-something and work a lot, but they're lovely and interested in learning about other cultures while wanting to share their own with me. They both said to me that they'll start speaking French with me as soon as I'm comfortable - whether that be in a week, a fortnight a month or whatever. I've already taken up their offer and though it's not easy I think it's the only way to really fast-track my French.
They invited Michelle for dinner last Friday too, which was wonderful, and we talked about travel and us and had a really nice evening.
Noah and Lilyrose a good kids. They can be a handful sometimes and I was worried at first that I'd have trouble with Lilyrose but that's settled down now. I think it was mostly just that I was a new face and she was testing me out. It will also get a lot easier as my French gets better. I've already noticed an improvement.

Flight and Arrival

Sept 29

After a computer error at Melbourne Tullamarine airport my bags were checked through to Brussels and I was checked through to Singapore. Great. But no worries - it's just because there "may" be some fees payable for changing my flight - I just need to go to the Lufthansa counter in Singapore and sort it out.

No problem. After a pleasant flight with Singapore airlines - the food was great - we arrive in Singapore a little early. I make my way to the transfer centre and have a chat with the guy at Lufthansa who tells me to take a seat and he'll call me up. Mmmm massage seats. Ten minutes later my feet feel wonderful. And someone else wants to use the seat. I move. A group of about 40 Germans rock up. Oh no... I know where they're going - straight to the Lufthansa counter. I know they're going to forget about me.

30 mins through my 1 1/4 hour stopover and the queue is still long. I'm gonna get in it. 45 mins and I'm at the front of the queue. They've forgotten me - simply print out my boarding passes and I'm on my way - no sorry's, nothing. I arrive at the gate just in time to be called through for boarding. At least it wasn't last call...

Somewhere between Sept and Oct

The rest of the flight is fine except I'm wishing I were still on Singapore airlines. I land in Frankfurt and go to talk to Lufthansa to see if I can get an earlier flight to Brussels. Talk to them in German. Yay. I get on an earlier flight and head to my gate, grabbing some euros and breakfast while I wait. A lady from the airport asks if she can interview me about my trip. I agree and she compliments my German. Why don't they speak German in France? Is that a politically incorrect question?

Arrive in Brussels and I'm confused. What language do these people speak - it seems every person I pass is speaking another language. I'm unsure of what time Isabelle can make it as she was originally expecting me later. Turns out she can't make it till then anyway so I wait. Was either here or Frankfurt. Think I would have preferred Frankfurt. There weather was better there anyhow. Here the sky comes right to the ground.